Not quite ready to leave the school and take the risk just to pursue my dream course.
nakakapagod. mentally and physically tired na ako. hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko. left and right laging may nagpapa-lungkot sakin kahit ilang beses kong subukan maging masaya. crying myself to sleep is what i do always just to release everything. ewan kung bakit ko ‘to nafifeel. i love making people happy, pero making myself happy? i can’t do it. i always rely to one person to make me happy. hindi kami close pero pinupush ko pa rin sarili ko. sabi ko give up na pero ayaw pa rin. tapos ngayon dagdag pa ‘to sa pag-eemote ko ngayon. nakakainis puro na lang sakit ang nararamdaman ko. kelan ba ako magiging masaya? kahit once lang maramdaman ko yung one happiness na inaasam ko. </3
*sigh i’ll continue this dramatic in my online diary na lang zz
i tried being kathryn bernardo but i look like the alienated version bye
Somehow made my day. Every tweet he makes breaks my heart now. :(
I guess it’s the universe telling me to stop.
Nakakapagod. Lahat ng gawin mo walang kwenta, walang epekto. Nakakapagod na mag mukhang tanga sa harap mo at ng iba. Lalo na kapag umaasa pa akong may pag-asa pa tayong dalawa. Kahit alam kong wala naman, sige pa rin. Push pa rin hanggang ako rin ang masasaktan. Ako kasi si tanga, nagpapakatanga. Ayaw masaktan pero lahat ng ginagawa ko, nagpapasakit sa akin. Kelan kaya ako makakaramdam ng kaligayahan na galing sa iba? Yung may taong magmamahal din sayo tulad ng pagmamahal mo sa kanila.
It’s our church’s anniversary this Sunday and our group (youth) needs a representative to present at least something. So I thought my friend and I could have a simple performance and she agreed with it. She even suggested a song called “Revival” by Soul Fire. Right when I got to dorm that Sunday night, I searched for the song and lyrics and I actually loved it. I told her we’ll go with this one. Monday morning, I asked her if she could spare a time for us to practice together but her reply? Unsure. It annoys me so damn much that she can’t make a time for me or for us at least to practice this song. But when it comes to her ‘best friend’ who by the way turned his back from her coz of personal reasons would make herself available ALWAYS. I don’t get it. And she tells me she doesn’t like this person the way I do. Yeah, really you don’t when clearly it shows that I think you are. I’m ranting right now because I can’t take it anymore. I need to blurt it ALL out from my system. She just annoys me right now. Ever since college came. I could understand her if we were still in high school because we don’t go to same school but now? Hell no. I’m THIS close to leave her the way her close friend did. Fuck that shit, I’m so done.
Kung gusto mo siya, sabihin mo lang para hindi ako nag mumukhang tanga. Kahit hindi mo naman sabihin, siya ang bukang bibig mo eh.
I don’t understand why they judge me for liking him. They’re all like “Why do you like him?” “Why him?” “He’s so dramatic” “He’s overreacting” etc. I don’t care at all. I know I complain a lot about him being dramatic and overreacting but that doesn’t make me love him less. It challenged me more. It’s really annoying them telling me he isn’t worth it and all but why do they fucking care? They keep telling me I’m making a mistake. So what? It’s not their problem anymore, anyway. It’s mine. I like him and that’s that. Even if there’s 0% chance, I don’t care. This is stupid, I know but stop. This is my life.
One day, you just sit and stare at your laptop scree realizing that the person you love is far away from you even he’s just there somewhere around. The thought of him being with someone else stings because you want him for yourself only. But that can’t happen because you don’t make a step to communicate with him. And all you can do is go to his Twitter and stare at his tweets hoping that one day, he’ll notice you too or better yet, tweet something about you on how you made his day and all.